To those of you who wonder what the hell I'm writing about, read, and you'll learn.
I know how much we like to blame guys for our troubles in relationships, for infidelity, and even for communication issues, but we rarely (if ever) look at ourselves. If we do happen to do so, we normally focus on things that have nothing to do with our faults, but are based on the assumption that all men are dogs. While some men actually are dogs, the majority are either confused by what's going on, or are sick of the whole thing.
On the topic of men who actually are dogs, you'll know what I mean when you meet one. Everything in your brain yells "DO NOT PROCEED" but you do anyways. If you get hurt in the process, yes, it is his fault for being a prick, but it's also yours for not listening to the voices of (possibly) friends, family, and of course, his exes. Put down the rose coloured goggles ladies, and take a look at his character, NOT his perfectly toned abs (unfortunatley a lot of these jackasses just happen to be gorgeous. Move on though, there's plenty of decent looking nice guys too).
Moving onto the meat of the note (hahaha, ironic statememnt.). Some things that I've noticed.
a) If what you're showing isn't on the menu, keep it covered. Guys are visual. If you go into a club looking like a piece of meat, expect to be chewed on or at least sniffed. This isn't to say that you can't wear a nice low cut top, or a short skirt, just don't be overly-zealous about it. You're worth more than being a travelling visual buffet, and if you treat yourself like you are worth more, people will notice. Don't dress with everything hanging out, then dance like a slut and get mad when a guy makes a nasty comment. You get what you ask for.
b) Leading them on. Guys persevere (or at least most do). If you sense that he's interested, but you really aren't, don't lead him on. SO many girls do this that it's unbelievable. If you haven't told him that you don't like him, and he's buying you gifts and what not (or texting frequently) he's not a creep, you're an ass. Tell him. It's the only way to solve the problem. Furthermore, YOU have to be the one to do it. In a rare case, a friend will work, but unless he hears it from you it won't be fully understood. TELL THEM. Leading a buch of guys on to make yourself feel attractive is sickening. It's much more attractive to be straightforward.
c) Communication. Whether you like it or not, we do speak different 'languages', and girls are notorious for sending mixed signals. If you're telling him one thing, then doing another, don't be surprised if he's confused and does/says the wrong thing. As much as they hate to admit it, they do try to appease us. If (for example) you're mad at him, and decide to be completley cold for (what appears to be) no reason, he's going to get frustrated. Guys openly admit when they're mad at each other, where girls like to play idiotic brain games. try this instead. Sit down look him in the eye and tell him exactly why you're mad. Don't go into a 20 chapter story either. Yes, chances are he may not understand, but at least it's out there to think about. Now that he knows you're mad and why, be mad. But be mad maturely. Trust me, it'll get worked out faster this way than if you ignore him for (apparently) no reason.
d) Trust him. I know, I know, you trust him more than anyone in the whole world blah blah blah. When a drunk chick that you really don't know stumbles up to you at a party and says something suggestive, however, you immediatley build a complete scenario in your head of what might have happened. You then stomp home, and start the inquisition. in rare cases, something may have gone on, but for the most part the poor guy has no friggin idea what you're talking about, and you're convinced he's playing stupid. Here's a lesson: Women are the ugliest force on earth when they want a guy. They'll do anything to get to him (and I mean anything....shudder). Chances are that the drunk chick wants you to dump him so she can get her filthy claws in. If the situation ever comes up again, THEN you have reason to worry. Ask him about it, and trust his answer. By trust, I mean don't go through his facebook, phone, hotmail, and car looking for evidence.
On a separate note, if you have concrete evidence (a chat you stumbled upon, you found them in the sack, someone as close as your mother telling you what happened, you drop that fucker like a rock.)
e) You don't actually love him. Love is abstract, yes, but there are guidelines. Some of you do really love the person you're with. The rest of you, look up the words 'infatuation' and "lust" and you'll understand what I'm talking about. You can also take a look at my note "This Just Made my Stomach Turn", as I really don't feel like repeating this particular rant.
f) Cheating. I've always found this one the funniest. "It really wasn't that bad, it was only a kiss" or "If he loved me, he'd forgive me". The easiest way to make you understand this is simple: if he kissed another girl, would you be happy? or would you be so quick to forgive him? Don't say yes. We both know the answer. If he's been faithful to you and you've broken that, then HE deserves better. Let him move on, YOU don't deserve HIM. You may still be a nice person, but you have to let him go. If he comes back, then you can figure it all out. It'll be painful, but remember that if you leave him alone to think, he may want to work it out (or he may just ditch your sorry cheating ass).
g) Not supporting his ambitions. If you had the dream of winning a dance competition, but he laughed at you every time you brought it up, you wouldn't be too happy, would you. It doesn't matter what his dream is (unless it's criminal...), if you support him it'll help him greatly. I can't remember who said it, but "Behind nearly every great man was a supportive woman". If you're his, why not support him? What could it hurt? Just remember, no matter what he does it can't get as bad as Noah, and his wife was one tough lady.
h) The Player. You end up sleeping with or being cheated on by a guy of the player variety. I don't have much to say about this one except this: you knew he was a player and you still went along with it, and now you're crying because he did what he did to every other girl that you knew. Boo hoo. Get off your ass, keep your legs shut, and choose wisely next time.
Remember that you're worth more than dressing like a skank, putting up with an asshole, playing mind games, and leading people on. Prince Charming didn't fall for the town whore, he had his princess, someone equal and who trusted him to save her! Make an effort not to get as many guys as you can ladies, but to have class, be respectable, and to be the person he wants to know, not just wants to fuck.
That being said, a little fun can never hurt. ;)
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