A poem that I liked very much! I can't remember where I got it, but I'll be sure to post it up here if/when I do.
Women's Prayer
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
Men's Prayer
"I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store, a bass boat and lives on a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care!
Amen "
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A Revision to the Trash you People are Posting! Part 2
A continuation of the previous post: A Revision to the Trash you People are Posting! Part 1.
What Women Want
1. Honesty: "Try Honesty!" Yes, it works... it goes a long way. Men who can't be honest with a women shouldn't be with her. Women have Intuition, trust me we'll find out anyway.
Some of you women out there demand honesty, but then are upset when it ruins your perfect bubble of make-believe. In general, men are the more honest and surprisingly more loving of the two genders (this was a study, it's true!). Women on the other hand, I do not trust. We're manipulative, cold, grudging, and hateful. Women's intuition is a lie. Men have the same thing, they just don't make a point of showing that they're using it.
2. Trust: If you can't leave your man alone and are always looking back to see if he's looking at another female... you have a problem. Women always want to feel that they can trust you no matter what. So men think twice when you look at that pretty blond or whatever your into... Women want to tell there man whats on there mind there secrets so men listen up to your women!!!
Is this not in direct violation of what was stated above? as in "We don't care as long as you don't get her number?". Make up your mind, please. In addition, what does the last sentance have to do with the point!?
3. Loyalty: So hard to find these days. If you want to spend your life with a person and you supposedly love them then show your loyalty. She'll thank you for it later a simple gesture or it simply will make her day. If she's like this to you then she'll be greatful to you. Cheating is the number one dagger... Unfortunatly we all go through it, so men please be loyal or your gonna be the lonely one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hypocrite! What happened to "it's the 2000's?". YOU don't want to be cheated on, but it's perfectly ok for you to cheat on him!? This is disgusting. It's a cross between pond scum and that white stuff that shows up at the corner of your mouth after drinking alcohol.
4. Time: We don't want to be rushed into anything thats gonna fuck us up. The reason we need time to meditate and to think things through and to see whats going on. The second point to this is if you're rushing us we'll draw back and get scared!!! Men take the hint: love us but don't expect us to move in after a week.
It's women that this should be addressed to. WE are the ones who want to rush to never-never land. Men actually spend quite a bit more time than us looking at the REALITY. We just see the fantasy life with 1.4 kids and a white picket fence. As well, the word "love" shouldn't be used here. If you love someone, I'm pretty sure moving in isn't an issue. As a note: MEN will draw back and get scared if a woman starts pursuing or pushing them into her fantasy mould. Leave him be until HE starts talking.
5. Understanding: Men, if you want a women to stay with you there is one thing you should do: LISTEN TO US!! Trust me, you'll thank me later. We want men that can understand the days we get frustrated and the days when our mouths move and were saying something. When your women talk take the time to listen; there may be a reward later on.
Some things women talk about ar mundane and nonsensical. No guy cares that the guy who was cleaning your teeth was rough and your tooth kind of ached for 5 minutes (unless the story is told with valuable sarcastic humour, assuming he appreciates a good laugh). If it's something serious, then talk to him about it. If it's not, don't stress him. THat being said, normal conversation is fine, it's coming home and whining for an hour about pointless stuff.
Difference:
"how was the dentist?"
"I didn't like going to the dentist, it was horrible and it hurt, my tooth ached for 5 minutes! do you think that's normal!? what if my tooth is....."
"it was fine. A little rough, but ok. How was your day?"
**how many times can a person say "Trust me" in an article!?
6. Respect: R-E-S-P-E-C-T !!!! Say it loud and say it proud gals. We want to be treated like we're queens. I mean come on, we treat you with respect (well most of us)... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Men, if you don't treat us with respect we'll walk. Simple fact sadly...
So it's respectful when you cheat on him, don't listen to him, and call him insecure? Respect is huge, though. If we feel like your skank or something, we'll be down in the dumps. We love hearing that you think about us, or that you appreciate our presence. I'm not getting into the associations with "Say it loud, say it proud".
7. Companionship: If its just sex or just for him to have you on his arm when he feels like it then whats the point? When you love someone you want to have some form of a friendship as well as a relationship. You enjoy their company as well as you enjoy the kisses, you can be in their arms and know you're safe and secure. You can be yourself around them and don't have to put on an act for them: you are the real you don't be ashamed.
If it's just for sex, you won't be in love. If you're too blind to see that it's not just for sex, you're an idiot. All guys love the aspect of having arm candy. Let him have his fun so long as it doesn't go overboard (him bragging excessively, etc). Be real with yourself, you like it when he shows you off.
"You want to have some form of friendship as well as a relationship" I'd hope so! Friendship IS a type of relationship. Sex is a type of relationship. If you'd like a romantic, loving relationship, you need both!
8. Maturity: A man can't can be a man if he does not know how to be a man. Let me put it in simple terms ladies: most men don't mature until about 30, I mean you don't want an old man either, its cool to have fun and to be childlike but when a man can't pull his weight: how shall I say this: buh bye...
There isn't any instructional advice in here except "get a 30 year old guy". What will an immature little brat like this author need with a mature guy? Nothing. There are people your age who will be mature, you just have to look. A guy who drinks the most in your school, and runs around all night attempting failingly to sleep with a bunch of chicks isn't mature. Why would you want a completely mature guy anyways? You're most likely 16-18 reading this, not mature at all. Go easy on the guys.
9. Inner Beauty: Well women he may look hot but he could be a dumbass and a shallow asshole. Just because something doesn't always look good, that doesn't mean he is ugly inside out. He could be a really good person. So you think Mr. Right in the hallway is the Jock that may rock your socks... but he is a total dumb ass! Maybe Mr. Right is in the hallway as the average joe who sits right behind you in math; you never know.
Yes, but there has to be attraction. A guy whom your not attracted to may give you everything in life, but you won't be happy. That being said, a guy who is "hot" won't make you happy either, if he doesn't care for you properly. Just as a note girls: if you think a guy is cute, regardless of your friends or whatnot, think about it. Attraction is different for all people, embrace what you like. Who cars if you like pale guys, or skinny guys, or even guys that are "plump"? It's your life, live it.
10. Sex? Now it comes to this. Well now lets be frank; men always complain they don't get their satisfaction. What about us? We love to be touched and pleased too. As graphic as that sounds, Come on now, we get off just as much as you men do - we sometimes don't admit it, but we do! If we don't feel pleased as much as you do, and we don't see "fireworks" as we say, it won't be as enjoyable. Men keep this in mind: there's a difference between fucking, sex and love making, trust me.
1. MOST guys complain. They complain because their women do something like this: Have any kind od crazy sex to get a hold on them, then get them tied down with a kid or marriage or both, and then stop the crazy, kinky sex as they no longer need it to keep him. NEVER stop the kinky sex. You're a tigress, go home, tear his clothes off, and remind him of that frequently. I promise you the complaints will be turned into bragging and sheer amazement at your woman-ness.
a. You need to understand love to understand lovemaking.
b. the difference between fucking and sex is that one is terminology, one is slang. A good fuck can be amazing!
c. If your man isn't satisfied, you haven't communicated, and you aren't doing your job. It takes much more than just a naked chick to make a guy happy, they need to be stroked and kissed as well. Don't assume that just because he's a guy he only wants sex, either. Yes, he DOES WANT IT, but he may just want an intelligent, responsive partner too.
d. If you aren't pleased, you aren't talking to him. You're responsible for your "O". If he doesn't know what gets you going, of course it's going to be horrible. YOU know what you like, NOT him, so TELL him what you want. Guys like it.
e. Guys aren't the only ones with sex on the brain all the time. Ladies, you have it on the brain on average every 9 seconds. Not bad!
Well, I hope this helps you guys! Enjoy!
If you want, pass this knowlege around!
PLEASE DON'T!!!!! The revisions on the other hand......:P
Well, I hope you enjoyed. I think I'll pay a visit to the porcelain God now, as this note made me sick to analyze.
What Women Want
1. Honesty: "Try Honesty!" Yes, it works... it goes a long way. Men who can't be honest with a women shouldn't be with her. Women have Intuition, trust me we'll find out anyway.
Some of you women out there demand honesty, but then are upset when it ruins your perfect bubble of make-believe. In general, men are the more honest and surprisingly more loving of the two genders (this was a study, it's true!). Women on the other hand, I do not trust. We're manipulative, cold, grudging, and hateful. Women's intuition is a lie. Men have the same thing, they just don't make a point of showing that they're using it.
2. Trust: If you can't leave your man alone and are always looking back to see if he's looking at another female... you have a problem. Women always want to feel that they can trust you no matter what. So men think twice when you look at that pretty blond or whatever your into... Women want to tell there man whats on there mind there secrets so men listen up to your women!!!
Is this not in direct violation of what was stated above? as in "We don't care as long as you don't get her number?". Make up your mind, please. In addition, what does the last sentance have to do with the point!?
3. Loyalty: So hard to find these days. If you want to spend your life with a person and you supposedly love them then show your loyalty. She'll thank you for it later a simple gesture or it simply will make her day. If she's like this to you then she'll be greatful to you. Cheating is the number one dagger... Unfortunatly we all go through it, so men please be loyal or your gonna be the lonely one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hypocrite! What happened to "it's the 2000's?". YOU don't want to be cheated on, but it's perfectly ok for you to cheat on him!? This is disgusting. It's a cross between pond scum and that white stuff that shows up at the corner of your mouth after drinking alcohol.
4. Time: We don't want to be rushed into anything thats gonna fuck us up. The reason we need time to meditate and to think things through and to see whats going on. The second point to this is if you're rushing us we'll draw back and get scared!!! Men take the hint: love us but don't expect us to move in after a week.
It's women that this should be addressed to. WE are the ones who want to rush to never-never land. Men actually spend quite a bit more time than us looking at the REALITY. We just see the fantasy life with 1.4 kids and a white picket fence. As well, the word "love" shouldn't be used here. If you love someone, I'm pretty sure moving in isn't an issue. As a note: MEN will draw back and get scared if a woman starts pursuing or pushing them into her fantasy mould. Leave him be until HE starts talking.
5. Understanding: Men, if you want a women to stay with you there is one thing you should do: LISTEN TO US!! Trust me, you'll thank me later. We want men that can understand the days we get frustrated and the days when our mouths move and were saying something. When your women talk take the time to listen; there may be a reward later on.
Some things women talk about ar mundane and nonsensical. No guy cares that the guy who was cleaning your teeth was rough and your tooth kind of ached for 5 minutes (unless the story is told with valuable sarcastic humour, assuming he appreciates a good laugh). If it's something serious, then talk to him about it. If it's not, don't stress him. THat being said, normal conversation is fine, it's coming home and whining for an hour about pointless stuff.
Difference:
"how was the dentist?"
"I didn't like going to the dentist, it was horrible and it hurt, my tooth ached for 5 minutes! do you think that's normal!? what if my tooth is....."
"it was fine. A little rough, but ok. How was your day?"
**how many times can a person say "Trust me" in an article!?
6. Respect: R-E-S-P-E-C-T !!!! Say it loud and say it proud gals. We want to be treated like we're queens. I mean come on, we treat you with respect (well most of us)... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Men, if you don't treat us with respect we'll walk. Simple fact sadly...
So it's respectful when you cheat on him, don't listen to him, and call him insecure? Respect is huge, though. If we feel like your skank or something, we'll be down in the dumps. We love hearing that you think about us, or that you appreciate our presence. I'm not getting into the associations with "Say it loud, say it proud".
7. Companionship: If its just sex or just for him to have you on his arm when he feels like it then whats the point? When you love someone you want to have some form of a friendship as well as a relationship. You enjoy their company as well as you enjoy the kisses, you can be in their arms and know you're safe and secure. You can be yourself around them and don't have to put on an act for them: you are the real you don't be ashamed.
If it's just for sex, you won't be in love. If you're too blind to see that it's not just for sex, you're an idiot. All guys love the aspect of having arm candy. Let him have his fun so long as it doesn't go overboard (him bragging excessively, etc). Be real with yourself, you like it when he shows you off.
"You want to have some form of friendship as well as a relationship" I'd hope so! Friendship IS a type of relationship. Sex is a type of relationship. If you'd like a romantic, loving relationship, you need both!
8. Maturity: A man can't can be a man if he does not know how to be a man. Let me put it in simple terms ladies: most men don't mature until about 30, I mean you don't want an old man either, its cool to have fun and to be childlike but when a man can't pull his weight: how shall I say this: buh bye...
There isn't any instructional advice in here except "get a 30 year old guy". What will an immature little brat like this author need with a mature guy? Nothing. There are people your age who will be mature, you just have to look. A guy who drinks the most in your school, and runs around all night attempting failingly to sleep with a bunch of chicks isn't mature. Why would you want a completely mature guy anyways? You're most likely 16-18 reading this, not mature at all. Go easy on the guys.
9. Inner Beauty: Well women he may look hot but he could be a dumbass and a shallow asshole. Just because something doesn't always look good, that doesn't mean he is ugly inside out. He could be a really good person. So you think Mr. Right in the hallway is the Jock that may rock your socks... but he is a total dumb ass! Maybe Mr. Right is in the hallway as the average joe who sits right behind you in math; you never know.
Yes, but there has to be attraction. A guy whom your not attracted to may give you everything in life, but you won't be happy. That being said, a guy who is "hot" won't make you happy either, if he doesn't care for you properly. Just as a note girls: if you think a guy is cute, regardless of your friends or whatnot, think about it. Attraction is different for all people, embrace what you like. Who cars if you like pale guys, or skinny guys, or even guys that are "plump"? It's your life, live it.
10. Sex? Now it comes to this. Well now lets be frank; men always complain they don't get their satisfaction. What about us? We love to be touched and pleased too. As graphic as that sounds, Come on now, we get off just as much as you men do - we sometimes don't admit it, but we do! If we don't feel pleased as much as you do, and we don't see "fireworks" as we say, it won't be as enjoyable. Men keep this in mind: there's a difference between fucking, sex and love making, trust me.
1. MOST guys complain. They complain because their women do something like this: Have any kind od crazy sex to get a hold on them, then get them tied down with a kid or marriage or both, and then stop the crazy, kinky sex as they no longer need it to keep him. NEVER stop the kinky sex. You're a tigress, go home, tear his clothes off, and remind him of that frequently. I promise you the complaints will be turned into bragging and sheer amazement at your woman-ness.
a. You need to understand love to understand lovemaking.
b. the difference between fucking and sex is that one is terminology, one is slang. A good fuck can be amazing!
c. If your man isn't satisfied, you haven't communicated, and you aren't doing your job. It takes much more than just a naked chick to make a guy happy, they need to be stroked and kissed as well. Don't assume that just because he's a guy he only wants sex, either. Yes, he DOES WANT IT, but he may just want an intelligent, responsive partner too.
d. If you aren't pleased, you aren't talking to him. You're responsible for your "O". If he doesn't know what gets you going, of course it's going to be horrible. YOU know what you like, NOT him, so TELL him what you want. Guys like it.
e. Guys aren't the only ones with sex on the brain all the time. Ladies, you have it on the brain on average every 9 seconds. Not bad!
Well, I hope this helps you guys! Enjoy!
If you want, pass this knowlege around!
PLEASE DON'T!!!!! The revisions on the other hand......:P
Well, I hope you enjoyed. I think I'll pay a visit to the porcelain God now, as this note made me sick to analyze.
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